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Everybody is different. From the way we laugh, to how we talk, and the way we walk. What I mean is everything about every individual is different and that’s what makes us unique in our own way. When I was in my adolescent years in primary school, everyone around me was growing. My friends had breasts and they had started their menstrual cycles. The young men were becoming hairy and their voices were so deep and loud.  Some even had boyfriends and girlfriends, they already knew how to kiss and hug each other. A lot was going on at that time but I on the other hand was oblivious to all of this. I had a slow growth that you could have even mistaken me for a boy if it hadn’t been for my beautiful face and hair.

I did not even feel the slightest attraction for anyone I still thought of boys as to how they used to portray themselves. I felt so bad that everyone was walking ahead while I was still trying to locate my directions. An embarrassing story is one day I took one of my mom’s sanitary towels and I was trying to put them on because I thought if I put it on maybe it would have sped up my adolescence because honestly if you stood me together with the rest of the girls, if not for the skirt, I would have been mistaken for a boy.  It gave me sleepless nights that my body was not changing so I asked my mother why I did not have breasts yet like the other girls. ”Hakuna kitu mbaya kama kujicompare na mtu” she told me that everyone grows at their own pace. You can’t rush growth just because you do not want to be left behind.

I never asked again if there was a problem with me, I decided I had to wait for my time to come and you know what they say “good things come to those who wait”. I embraced my growth and I allowed my growth to take time. No one has your back more than you do, because you were there when your changes were happening and you will know best what you need, you know what your likes and dislikes are. You have to like yourself for others to like you, that is the first rule of life. Don’t share all your love and forget to love yourself.

The body alone is not the only thing that changes, the emotions too. When we grow up, the emotions grow too. You find yourself handling most of your emotions way better than you did as a child. In situations where you would have cried yourself to sleep, you find yourself comforting yourself to prevent the tear from flooding. We must give ourselves the chance for our emotions to mature. When was the first time you experienced some emotions, you have never experienced? My first-time experiencing shock was almost recently.

I was headed to school in the morning and I was waiting for the bus to come but on that day, it took a little too long so I got out my phone and used it. After ten minutes a motorcycle passed by me halfway and I wondered why this motorcycle guy was driving too close to me so I stood aside to give him space to pass but little did I know ‘huyu msee alikuwa njama ya kunitoka’ in the blink of an eye my phone was taken. It was so fast my brain didn’t even have the capacity of processing what was happening. I didn’t even remember to catch the number plate. It was so scary I just stood there confused. And with that experience, I don’t look at “nduthi” guys the same. Not all of them are bad some are just making an honest living, but you know the saying, ‘one bad fruit spoils the whole basket’. I haven’t talked much about emotional growth, that’s another topic for another read.


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11 months ago

Such a great piece Heidy, you can do it, I just love it.

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