Whenever I talk about love, I talk about it so fondly, so simply…so purely. Well, that’s rich coming from someone who has been so unlucky in it. But I can attest to the existence of it. I mean, how else can I explain how safe and secure I feel in someone’s arms, how easily I push away my insecurities to accommodate them, how every bit of their existence fascinates me, how the sheer thought of them randomly makes me smile, how I would give them the world in a heartbeat. If that’s not love then I don’t know what is.
She was the fine line between fantasy and reality. Sometimes I would get lost in both but the beauty of it was insatiable. Till date I cannot fully express how she made me feel. She was mine and the mere thought of that made my head spin. She was so breathtaking that I would drown in her voice whenever she spoke. I wanted her; all of her. I was in love with her scars, her blemishes, her tears, her smile, her hands…God! Her hands. Her touch was so forgiving that I would subconsciously feel her even when she wasn’t around.
I still remember the rhythm of her breathing when she slept. This was my favorite thing about her. How she slept next to me, how her body felt next to mine. She would ease into my touch and she would naturally curl up beside me. I still remember the taste of her lips; her scent. I kept telling myself that if it ever hurt, I would remember those moments and it would have been worth it.
She had a way of making me feel safe and secure. She was so keen that she familiarized herself with every tone in my voice. She would know what I wanted just from how I sounded. She knew that I was hers; mind, body, and soul just from how I looked at her. I fit her like a glove and she loved it.
I find myself reminiscing about my relationship with her a lot because she was it for me. She has never understood what I meant by this but yes, she would have been my greatest love story. She set my soul on fire; gave me grace and sense of self. I was complete and I thrived in it. She’d tell me that I scared her sometimes, that it was too intense because when we were in sync; WE WERE IN SYNC. It’s indescribable.
Love has been so over-romanticized that people miss out on the best parts. I believe that it is calm and brings comfort. It is so bizarre that one finds themselves growing fond of their partner’s annoying habits. It is euphoric and mind blowing. Love is unexplainably addictive and once you get a taste for it, its like getting a taste of blood.
Thing is, whenever we fall in love, we know that it will go one of two ways; it will either scar you, or it will be like Shakespeare, without the tragedy obviously. I do not think that people have ever fully experienced love and they never will. It is insatiable and people are conditional so yes, we will never fully understand what it is to be loved unconditionally.
All I know is, I will never stop chasing what sets my soul on fire. She made me feel alive and I am addicted now. I hope that whoever reads this gets to experience love; romantic or otherwise because no other feeling beats it.