In Memory

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In memory of what was, what is, and what will be.

I have always had a problem in letting things naturally unfold. The traits I picked up along the way determined my ability to form and maintain relationships. Because of this, every decision I make is usually so detailed, that if the dynamic changes, I lose balance. Sadly, life isn’t so black and white and I’m yet to make peace with that.

 I am going to break this into three…

In Memory of What was

Come to think of it, our pasts are some what set in stone and we have the habit to hold on to what we cannot change. The choices become memories and that’s all they are.

I have seen people turn bitter, sadistic, narcissistic, and vile because of what was. They let it influence how their lives play out. Our generation has glorified toxicity and being nonchalant in such a way that basic human decency is now labeled as “simping”. The traditional form of courtship and romance does not apply anymore.

Thing is, every person has underlying trauma and so what if life is unfair. Should that determine how we treat people? How we relate to others? How we love? I think not. I believe that it comes down to free will. Every person has a kill switch and each decision we make is based on conviction.

Our past defines us only as long as we allow it to. Instead of using the past as a scapegoat for present circumstances, a more productive approach is to acknowledge and learn from it. Put the past where it belongs.

 In memory of what was, no matter how difficult and upsetting my experiences were, I choose to be kind.

In Memory of What is

I have never known how to live in the moment, to enjoy what is. My constant need to control everything has made me miss out on so much. I have always planned out every bit of my life down to the number of children I’ll have. I even missed out on great relationships because I overcompensated and constantly worried about things I had no control over.

As insanely cliché as “YOLO” is, I think it applies to the beauty of the present. I mean it is easier said than done but we never see how good we have it until the moment passes. Our need to be in constant control has had us miss out on the most precious moments in our lives all that remains is the constant “what ifs”.

Unfortunately, the only power we have is the choices we make in the present. I mean, when was the last time you went to bed and said “today was a good day”, or “I was genuinely happy today”. Some of us do not recognize that anymore.

I think we should start living like it’s the 1980s; go on that trip, buy that dress, try out the new restaurant, text her/him (probably won’t go well but YOLO, right…I might have to take my own advice on this one).

In memory of what is, I’ll enjoy the beauty of it.

In Memory of What Will Be

I had been raised to believe that life is black and white but as I grew older, I discovered a huge grey area that I had been shielded from. My future had always been set and constant but along the way, that dynamic got upset and now, I have no idea what will happen next and that terrifies me.

We spend so much time worrying about how our future will turn out that we stop living. This is the one thing we never get a second chance at. Constantly worrying over things we have no control over won’t change the outcome. Unfortunately, this is life’s element of surprise, the one thing we do not get to choose.

The element of what will be is a leap of faith so I choose to let things unfold like they should.

P/S: Tell that person you like them; it might go well…might. If it doesn’t, drinks?
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