My mind is blank, my hands hover over the keyboard wondering what I should write today. I keep on typing and deleting my rough ideas. The creative process is not as easy as it seems. I have a lot on my mind but a few to write. I know I have to keep on pressing on but sometimes it’s not a red-letter day. Today is one of those days when the world looks dull and I am questioning and doubting myself. I am trying to keep up with myself, the goals I have set for myself.
Why is it so hard to be consistent? As humans we have a flaw that I am so sure is in everyone, and it is called procrastination. You get your work today and you are like no I will just do this tomorrow and when tomorrow comes you just push it to the next day and so on and the deadline catches up with you and you are just there scratching your head so bad because the pressure is a lot.
Procrastination is the mother of inconsistency. Because for a person’s work to be perfect and timely you have to be always on your toes when the work has arrived and left no room for being a couch potato. Recently I found a hobby, working out and because of the pandemic I had added on some weight but since I was about to face the world again. I did not want to go out with a quarantine body, so I decided to start working out and well I lost my motivation. Because I could not see the change immediately and that my friend is the father of inconsistency. Anticipating for change so early. You know they say practice makes perfect and I am so sure if I had not stopped working out on the second day, I would have been a FENTY model. ”hihihi” but I am just here being a couch potato and looking down at my kitambi and relating with the meme ‘kama kitambi ni kubwa kuliko matako……welp’
Let me not forget the father of inconsistency Mr.Lazy Mzembe. Let me tell you about that guy, if he just talks to you in your head and tells you,” Today I don’t feel like doing anything…..I just want to lay down all day long.” You know that Bruno Mars’ song. That kind of vibe. The thing is if you start being lazy you can never go back to being a hardworking babe. You can I mean but not the way you used to be. And I kid you not you will become an inconsistent person.
It’s not only in the work area that people are inconsistent, it’s our everyday life. In relationships, friendships. When you introduce something to your shawty or your man, you should be able to keep it going because you can’t just start something then halfway you are already tired. That is where people start getting tired and start pulling away and they start to think you have changed. For example, if you started giving me forehead kisses then stopped I would start thinking you are giving them to someone else but that’s just how I was made some girls are psychos, my friend.
In a friendship relationship, we started well then along the way you started showing me how you can live your life walking all over me. You have to continuously show me why I chose you as a friend.
Lately, I had a friend who kept on calling me to an event to help them. I was from school, so tired and my kicks were killing me. Along the way we had a misunderstanding where I was in the wrong, I tried to explain what had happened, but since I had made the mistake, I was already the bad guy and nothing could change that but I didn’t do it intentionally it was a miscommunication problem but the event host would not hear any of it. Said the party was all ruined because of me. I tried to tell them I would apologize to the one we made the mistake to but they said it was of no use. Later they came and said you know I had to apologize to my friend because of what you guys did. That statement just tipped me off. I knew I did whatever I did but ‘nilikuwa nimesema’ I would mend things so that they wouldn’t lose their friend and they didn’t have to go through the trouble. Now coming and rubbing it on my face, it was the shittiest thing they could do. And remember as tired as I was I helped them and even a thank you would have been nice.
Anyway that in the past and if you see me not talking to you after a while, just know your inconsistency was ahead of you. That’s about right. In whatever you are doing be it your studies, work or relationship just push yourself I am sure you are going arrive at your destination soon.
I LOVE YOU, BYTHEWAY!