I recently watched friends with benefits and have I had the wrong definition of FWBs for so long. So I did some research and there is a huge difference between a friend, an acquaintance, a best friend, also a love. Let me enlighten you ‘A friend is someone with whom one has a bond of mutual affection with which excludes sexual and family relationships. An acquaintance is someone you slightly know who you just know their name but nothing more about them. A best friend is someone who is a very close friend and a lover is an affectionate friend. ’KILA MTU AKO SAWA?’
I used to think a fling is an FWB relationship. I never knew if there was a difference between an acquaintance and a friend. So normally an FWB relationship has a rule which is to never catch feelings. You do all the nasty things you want to do but we should not be clingy to each other ‘yaani usicatch feelings’ it’s just for the fun of it. But most of the FWB relationships end badly. Why? because people end up catching feelings, they tend to get jealous too much. What did you expect? This is your friend and remembers the definition I gave up there? It is someone you can never shy away from. You already have a bond with them so it is only natural you have feelings.
Have you ever been friend-zoned? I bet you thought X has the same feelings for you so why not shoot your shot but how did that feel? Yes, she/he said you could be friends but am so sure you never stopped your feelings and that is where you go wrong. First of all run, ‘kataa hiyo maneno utalia my friend!’ because being friends means you will continue to spend your time together and what do you think will happen to those feelings? They become stronger which leads to suggestions like “Oh let’s be FWBs I swear sitacatch feelings,” and you still end up catching them. When you are attracted to someone it is really hard to see them as just a friend. If you have watched the sitcom F.R.I.E.N.D.S, there is a time Joey started having feelings for Racheal and where did he end up? IN THE GHEROO! WUEH T IS ALWAYS FOR TUFF PERIODT!
So I studied in a mixed high school and let me tell you ‘Maina’ there was a boy and he just had this special vibes I couldn’t resist. He started making moves on me and since he understood his assignment I couldn’t resist his charms. The chemistry kept flowing until one day someone told me that he had a girl in our class but they had been in an on and off a relationship. TOXIC MUCH!.So I told the guy I wasn’t looking for anything serious just occasional make outs and that’s that. We were really good friends, one day his alleged ex comes to me and she tells me ‘ACHANA NA BWANA YANGU! AMA UTAUMIA VIBAYA’ I was mad and I confronted the boy told him I wanted out and ‘sitaki drama mob’ he should decide what he wants, he told me their relationship was not that serious …and all the sweet nothings that a girl can never resist and of course the young naïve girl went back to their ‘relationship’. One day the guy asks for ‘mechi’ I told him we are at school and I wouldn’t want our relationship to be ruined and my reputation was at stake and there is always someone who will tattle. I asked him why he wasn’t asking his girl and by now, I already knew my position in that relationship and we should follow what we agreed on to the end. I told him he should ask his girl and for sure he did, and the two love birds’ relationship became stronger so much that the dude changed. Started calling me names and telling me how I was a snitch because the whole class knew what had happened. I swear I laughed so hard I swore I had had enough of the bullshit I was so close to fighting the bruh and his girl. Messy RIGHT? I wouldn’t want to go through something like that again. Yes it was fun and all messing around but my feelings were in the gutter.
Why do boys call out girls for refusing to sleep with them? Emotional damage or ego being broken to pieces? Either way just learned how to move on. There is plenty of fish in the sea.
I LOVE YOU, BY THE WAY