I have my standards, you have your standards, and we all have standards, which is good because they help us set an outline for our entire life. Let me define standards, it is the accepted example of something against which others are judged, according to the dictionary definition. Standards help us achieve our goals. According to Personal Standards: Lists, 60 Examples & How to Define Them | HIGH5 (high5test.com), standards are reflected in how you act to yourself and others which helps us identify which behaviors are acceptable and which are not. A personal standard is a list of activities, thoughts, and behaviors that you accept as helpful, have a strong identity, and understand one’s goals.
There are circumstances that we find ourselves in, and we create these standards. Setting these standards helps us to set a long-term goal which will help us know what to accomplish and have better relationships. Maboy husema ati madem huset standards yenye ata wao wenyewe hawaezi reach. Well doesn’t everybody do that?? It is not only in relationships that standards are set, standards are the same as goals, for me to be this I have to set standards that I have to reach. Everyone has their standards including money, relationships, learning, health, and many more. There are a lot of benefits in setting standards which include; being respected by others, boosting personal health both mental, and physically, easy decision-making, keeping yourself and others accountable, and increased skills.
“Kama huwezi fika standards mtu ameset, basi haina haja ujisumbue na huyo mtu.” We all have different standards so don’t expect mine to be the same as yours, and don’t expect me to try and reach yours. It is as simple as that. And if you find someone who meets your standards, yaani hajaset standards juu sana na unaweza zifikia, then hakuwezi kuwa na mavutano. Imagine in the process of dating someone, that certain someone has set their standards on dating and they tell you, every Friday I want to be taken out for dinner dates and parties sahizo unajua wewe ni hustler ata credit saa zingine hukuwa shida kupata, you will not meet his or her standards, so instead of complaining and saying the standards are high, you can choose not to meet their standards and find someone who can meet yours instead.
Double standards by definition mean a rule of good behavior that, unfairly, some people are expected to follow or achieve but other people are not. Someone once told me I have a double standard, I didn’t know what that person was supposed to mean, but from the situation, I tried to understand. In that context, nilikuwa nadate mtu na nikamwambia nilikuwa nataka massage akaniuliza nikikupea massage utanipea? nikamwambia yeye ataenda kwa spa afanyiwe kama anataka. I said it jokingly of course, but he said that I had double standards, I had never heard of something like that before, and by that context, I understood what he meant. Double standards are exactly like that and it’s not fair to anyone but those who have them and it displays how selfish someone is. Sometimes we find ourselves having double standards even without realizing it and that is why before setting standards we should check if it sits with us well.
A double standard can be intentional and unintentional, intentional is driven by the desire to achieve a goal while unintentional is driven by emotions and failure to notice the double standards. When you identify double standards, you must ensure that you have a justification for applying it, internalize your reasoning and emotions and ask yourself if it was the right thing. The best you could do if you have used it on people or someone, you have to apologize for it and not repeat the same mistake. It is all about standards in this world so make sure you set your standards right.
P.S. YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU!
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