What? What do you do when you lose things that define you as a woman? What do you do inwhen your life takes a whole new downhill direction? Will I get someone who accepts me like this? God why me?
These and many more are some of the questions that race through your mind when you have been newly diagnosed with cancer, breast cancer to be specific. Growing up, I had a well laid down plan on how I wanted my life to be.
I’m such an active player in my life.However more often than not life has shown me how needless my plans are coz it always takes me through its own turns. In my mind,my life should have turned out like the American Dream: a fat bank account, a beautiful relationship and a fancy house. In all of this equation, you notice there is no cancer, coz it wasn’t part of my plan. But what is life!?The cancer diagnosis meant a whole new norm for me.
Chemotherapy, radiation therapy, a mastectomy, loss of hair, nausea, incessant headaches, loss of weight, depression just to mention a few. I went through all this and the sessions were like war for I never came out the same every time I went through them.
I actually became a mirror image of myself: Thin, sick looking, bald and out of touch with people.One day I looked myself in the mirror and normally I would cry at the very sight of myself.
But on this day I asked myself two very thought provoking questions: For how long are you gonna cry? For how long are you gonna absorb yourself in self pity and victimization?And I looked up to take back the balancing tears in my eyes, washed my face and for the first time, I changed my clothes from the overworn big black T-shirt and purple pyajamas pants. For in that moment I realized, I had gone through chemotherapy which was hell and radiation therapy that was worse and a masectomy that left me scarred for life, but guess what, I was still standing, I was still alive.Beaten? Yes. Broken? Yes. But I was still fighting through.
So to answer my start up questions: What do you do when you lose the things that define you as a woman? You walk with your head held so high coz though you might have lost a breast, there is still so much more greatness about you other than that.
What do you do when life takes a whole new downhill direction? You jump in and take the ride and be in control of the destination the downhill is gonna lead to. Will I get someone who accepts me like this? Your worth is not fixed on other people’s opinion about you. What they think of you is their own potato to chew.
You are beautiful and anybody who gets you is lucky so may it be a lesson for men out there to keep their eyes open.God why me?If not you, then who?So this is to everyone going through a hard time in life: We all are battling something in our lives, it might not be cancer, but maybe it is a broken relationship, a failed business, a wrangled family, bad grades, rejection, negative body image et ceteraI just want to let you know that You are brave.
You are gonna get through this. You are beautiful. You are important. The storm will pass coz that is what storms do, they pass. Now go on with your head held high coz you are a Star!